We all want happy kids . . .

Children Are Happier When Parents Resolve Their Conflict

Divorce-Related Services in St. Louis, MO

John Borders - Counselor and Consultant

Divorce Mediation

What is it?

Divorce mediation is the process of cooperatively resolving issues in a divorce with the assistance of an impartial expert who facilitates communication and joint decision-making between the parents.

Co-Parenting Counseling

What is it?

Co-parenting counseling helps conflictual parents establish a healthy, nurturing environment for their children. Children’s growth and development depend upon how effectively parents work their co-parenting relationship.

Parenting Coordination

What is it?

Parenting coordination is similar to co-parenting counseling. However, if it becomes clear that the parents cannot resolve their differences by means of a facilitated conversation, the parenting coordinator will arbitrate the dispute and make the final decision.

Professional Services

I provide divorce mediation, co-parenting counseling, and parenting coordination services. My approach to each of these is the same -- to help parents to resolve their differences so as to minimize any negative impact upon their children. The extent of my involvement in the parents' decision-making process varies in each of these services. I am an impartial facilitator as Divorce Mediator, a more directive interventionist as Co-Parenting Counselor, and an arbitrator with decision-making authority as Parenting Coordinator.

John Borders

The Benefits:

  1. The parents make the decisions -- not two attorneys, or a Guardian ad Litem, or a judge.
  2. It costs significantly less -- my fee is lower than an attorney's and is split between both parents. Otherwise, each parent hires an attorney, pays for a Guardian ad Litem (attorney for the child/rem), and pays the huge costs of going to court.
  3. Privacy -- Court cases are a matter of public record. Privately resolved disputes are not.

The Goals:

  • Minimize Conflict
  • Improve Information Sharing
  • Establish Clear Boundaries
  • Facilitate Joint Decision-Making
  • Improve Parenting Skills


All information is held in strict confidence. Unless there are safety concerns, information is not shared with family members, the courts, or others. Clients are asked to agree that they will not request access to any documents, or subpoena any records or testimony.



I am not an in-network provider although you may submit claims to your insurance company for reimbursement. Note that insurance companies require a formal diagnosis of mental illness and typically do not cover divorce-related issues. Also, no parent facing possible litigation wants to be the one who goes into court with a mental health diagnosis.

What Clients Say

"My ex-wife and I could not communicate or agree on anything. John gave us a safe, neutral place to talk about our kids.”

- Josh B.

"The most knowledgeable and experienced guy about divorce, the courts, the attorneys, and child therapists around."

- James L.

"My husband and I couldn't agree on anything — the kid's sports, activities, ANYTHING. John Borders kept us out of court and cost much less than either of our two attorneys.”

- Beth Z.

“We had been battling in and out of court for eight years until we found Dr. Borders. Now we have someone to go to who can resolve our problems without our having to go back to court."

- Lane R.

"Most therapists list twenty-five areas of ‘specialization.’ (Ridiculous!) John Borders is a guy who deals with one thing — divorce-related parent conflict. He knows his stuff!”

- Tina O.

"John saved our family. Our oldest son was out of control and John brought us all back together again.”

- Michael P.

What Professionals Say

"I refer my most difficult cases to him. No one else is willing to take them on — or can handle them.”

- Beth J.

"I am family attorney. When I have a high-conflict divorce case, I try to involve John. He has the ability, and takes the time, to become thoroughly familiar with families. He keeps me informed and explains exactly what's going on without prejudice to either party.”

- William G.

"I am a child therapist. When John refers a child to me, I know that I'm going to be kept fully informed about that child's context, i.e., what's going on with the parents. And I know that I can totally trust him.”

- Julie P.

"Great to work with."

- George L.